tofu, chard, mushhies, noodles

last night adam and I celebrated the purchase of delicious [but soon to turn skanky] rainbow chard. admittedly, not in season, but the stalks are such lovely colors, it’s hard for me to pass up, regardless of price or seasonality. sorry sustainable local agriculture! next time i will buy chicago-grown cabbage to atone.

since returning with two checked bags¹ i have become reunited with some of the comforts of montreal, including cookbooks. with the weight limits and the public transportation needed to get home [thanks crushing poverty!], i selected only the veganomicon and a thrift-store copy of the enchanted broccoli forest, leaving behind the 50s version of the joy of cooking, the 1960s versions of betty crocker and fannie farmer, and a perennial favorite, the healthy slow cooker. i’ve been relying on the interwebs for recipes, but nothing beats a cookbook for making notes and doodling in the margins.

after work, i ran across the street to pick up some udon noodles at the jewel supermarket. now, i have slowly begun to explore the wide range of options in chicago, because i love new grocery stores. more than a lot of things. and dominick’s left me underwhelmed; generic, vaguely scummy, doesn’t have a nice organic grocery section, etc. jewel, on the other hand, more expensive, but classssssy. so i picked up some black bean sauce, udon noodles, and, wonder of wonders, Real Live British Heinz Baked Beans, whose absence from the supermarket adam had been bemoaning for months. thanks british import section of jewel for selling me $2 tins of baked beans for my picky anglo-centric boyfriend!

anyway, I made this last night. i feel like there was excessive sesame oil, so you could probably cut that down a bit. this [local] brand of tofu must have been pressed a different way than the big-box generic stuff, because after freezing it had that flaky, layered texture that vegan abalone and duck has; adam thought it was seitan.

black-bean tofu with mushrooms and chard over pan-fried udon noodles

5-6 large porcini mushrooms

1 block tofu, frozen, thawed and drained well

1 bundle of rainbow chard, washed and bottom halves of stems chopped off [wash extra well if you take the bus and your chard rubs its face all over the floor]

3-4 cloves of garlic, chopped fine

2 tbls soy sauce/tamari

2 tbls commercial black-bean sauce [shame, I know]

1 tbls siracha chili sauce

2 tsps sugar

1 ½ tbls water

2 bundles udon noodles

mix together black bean sauce, chili sauce, sugar and water – this is all to taste, so don’t worry too much about the proportions. the quantities above are educated guesses. but you should get something that looks like a slurry of black swamp water.

get yerself a big ol’pot filled with water and set her on the stove to boil.

while water is fixing to a-boiling, heat some sesame oil in a non-stick pan over medium heat. slice mushrooms medium-thin and chuck them in once the oil is hot. when they’re doing their thing, cut drained tofu into goodly chunks, and throw them in too. loosely chop the chard leaves, and cut the stems into like 2” pieces.

when the water’s boiling, throw in your udon and cook for however long the package says. I think I let mine go for like ten minutes.

after the mushrooms and the tofu have a chance to get cozy together and brown up a bit, throw in your chard and drizzle soy sauce over the top to gently wilt them. try to get everything moving around in that pan, i like to flip over the tofu and mushrooms on top of the chard to get it to cook down better. throw in your sauce mixture and let that holey tofu soak up even more deliciousness.

[if you want your sauce more thick, cook longer. I let mine go for a while and reserved some chard to stir in at the last moment, so I could have both deathly wet chard and some with a little bit more crunch]

when the udon’s done, drain and run cold water over it.

remove your tasty toppings from your pan, slick some more sesame oil in there, and throw in the noodles. let them sizzle around for a while until the water in them has evaporated and they start to get crispy on the bottom and you worry about burning them and ruining dinner.

throw your tofu/chard/mushies back in, let everything mingle, and serve!

this makes enough for one moderately hungry lady who ate a lot of raw tofu while cooking, one hungry boyfriend who contemplated thirds and one office lunch the next day.

1. [40$ for TWO checked bags on united!! absolutely ridiculous. but the very chatty woman checking me in in portland redeemed united, but just a little bit. thanks for bumping me to a direct flight so i didn’t have to make a detour to dulles!]